Communication and amazing friendship is the foundation of any Marriage, and it has to start when Dating! Darryl and I fight very rarely and if we do get heated it lasts minutes, that comes from being best friends and having extremely open and good communication skills. The bible is the best place to set guidelines on how to start communicating to set an amazing foundation.
James 1:19-20
"You must understand this, my dear brothers. Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. For human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires."
There are 3 very important commands on how to maintain an amazing relationship. It is not always easy to do, but the rewards are amazing.
Quick to listen: not the easiest when you have had a long day, or when you really are not interested in what the person is talking about. But it is the best way to really get to know someone, and really show them how much you care. I know when Darryl tells me about his hockey pool I do not always really want to know, but when I see the pleasure in his eyes that I want to share his interest with him, I really could listen to him all day. Or if he is upset about something, I have to slow myself down and just listen with out interrupting.. not always easy as a woman.. but it shows deeply how much I care about what he thinks even if my thoughts are different.
Slow to speak: As a woman this part is hard, if something is needed of you, or you think they want something from you, it is easy to speak before you even give them a chance to explain. Or when they work late or forget to call or miss an important date, we can be very quick to pounce.. Instead we need to slow down, show love, and give them a chance, then think about our response, think about how and what we say will impact our partner. How and what we say can cause friction, and misunderstanding, can lead to very poor communication and even start resentment. Show Love and understanding, if it is a healthy relationship these issues will all work out and seem so minor.
Slow to get angry: I have messed this one up many times.. but it is so incredibly important, When something upsets you, if you can calmly express the way you felt to your partner you can begin to work out the issue.. sometimes it could be something that they have no control over, such as working late or on special occasions, but talking about it and being honest and vulnerable goes a far way in a relationship. I am usually slow to anger, but Darryl is still very aware about how I feel, I will make sure he knows my feelings in a very calm and loving way.
We need to get to that place were we realize that we are all insecure and full of flaws without Christ. We are very different, we love in different ways, think differently, and were raised different from one another. Things that are important to me are not as important to Darryl. If we were the same there would be no challenge, no excitement and we would not want each others help. My best Friend is such the opposite from who I am, it can be challenging sometimes to try to understand him, but it is also exciting to learn from him. I would not have it any other way!!
Praying for you ladies daily!!!
Strong Tough Intelligent woman, Never settling for anything but God's best!!
XOXOOXOXO
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